Sunday, August 17, 2014

Revision

“Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon”
 - Song “Waiting for my Real Life to Begin” by Colin Hay


Revision

I stare at the page—
Daunted.
Hopeless.
My moxie has fled for
Prolific pastures.

What’s the point?
My pencil’s nub
Rubbed down by cliché.
Rejection.
Cracked in half by this
Introspection.

This pen bleeds
Ink ‘til it runs dry.
And rips this
Paper, wrinkled.
I ball it in my fist
Crushing, crinkled.

Laptop keys used to
Flutter under fingers
Like wind chimes.
Music no more.
I’ve lost the melody
Trampled the score.

Well-worn words
Mock me.
Guffaw.
The lighted screen—
Like a moth I am drawn.

- Theresa Milstein



This poem is dedicated to the writers at the Revision Retreat  run by Harold Underdown 

UPDATE: I actually wrote this poem a few weeks ago. My critique experience at the retreat was actually positive, and gave me direction and inspiration + I learned some beneficial revision techniques. 

Sunday, August 10, 2014

August Artistic Aspirations


I want to tell you about 3 artistic endeavors that have inspired me this August:

1)

                                                                   un-perfect moment

capture that perfect un-perfect moment
locked within that bring-you-back memory
and while you dance within those medleys
those blood-bond circles of life swirl
through the past and towards the future
you sweep away in a shared moment
as hot and sweet as summer’s breath

on the peripheries as fleeting as fireflies
sidestep broken fragments before they pulverize
while the evening’s a clock that no longer ticks
these frozen hands a blessing from time’s tyranny
hold on tight to the tumultuous melody
just like you hold on tight to your
tired girl’s hands for just one more song

  - Theresa Milstein






2)

I’ve known the illustrator Nata Romeo for several years. Her artwork has always impressed me. She’s now illustrated a beautiful picture book. Cleverly, she left the animals black and white to encourage children to color them on the hardcover edition. And the pictures can be enlarged on the e-book edition in order to appreciate the detail.


Biography
Nata Romeo a.k.a ArtistaDonna, is the author and illustrator of her first children's book, titled Alphabet Wildlife A to Z. Originally from Toronto, Canada, she now brews and sprinkles her art and stories from the Philadelphia skies. She dreams that her imagination gets swept up into a massive storm, traveling across the universe and beyond!




3)

This week, I’m attending the Highlights Foundation Revision Retreat.  
It's my first organized retreat.
I hope that the retreat's inspirations help me reach my aspirations.


Happy August!
xo,
Theresa


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Bittersweet

Bittersweet


You don a bitter orange peel cloak.

Tangy lemon tingles tart on my tongue.

I scoop the grapefruit quarter sans sugar

And smart at the startling sour.

Acerbic is what you’re offering.


No fruit-shaped confections ladled with fructose

Nor strawberries smothered in unctuous chocolate.

I scour the bland baskets with scorn

While dreaming of syrup-dripped candy.

Bittersweet is what you’re offering.


Sneakin’ down the street for satisfaction.

Praying to Virgin Mary for my sins.

I scoop the saccharine confections.

Savoring that sickeningly sweet thrill.

Anything, but what you’re offering.


And I wait for judgment’s final wrath. 


- Theresa Milstein






Sunday, July 13, 2014

The Descent

The Descent

One moment’s lapse
Descending
Alone
            Shattering
Wine crimson spilled

Respiration
One rhythm
Cresting
God’s proof a
Wretched life saved

Conduits to
Wash away
Your sins
Gold bronze and
Black as coal dust

Lips cracked desert
Decaying
Wasting
Won’t heal for
What ragged scars

Eyes hold malice
Foreigner
Stranger
Not mine your
Future confined

Secrets shameful
Hands restrained
Escape
The binds when
Mourning calls chill 

Tart utterances
Tasteless
Vicious
The wound you
Left gaped rage raw

One moment’s lapse
Ascending 
Alone
Embraced yet
Mind still adrift

- Theresa Milstein






Sunday, July 6, 2014

Modern Steampunk

Modern Steampunk

You rivet and clunk—
Cogwheel
Defective and dangerous—
Like HAL
Runs the erratic rhythm of
Time and space

We can only marvel—
Cower
At the jolts of power—
Sparking
Even when muffled
Not exhausted

Wicked Witch of the West—
Withered
Extinguished by water—
Your coals
Roar unrestrained
Scorching scars

As you barrel out of control—
Careen
I fumble for the emergency brake—
Will YOU
Ever
Run
out
of
S
T
E
A
M
?

- Theresa Milstein






Sunday, June 29, 2014

Solitaire

Solitaire


I pluck a card from the display.
The words within gargle in my throat
Until my tongue longs to spit the sour.
I swallow the urge,
And place the card back into its slot.
This ritual repeats until options exhaust,
Save the cloying cards below
And the ostentatious offerings above.

How does something so seemingly simple
As purchasing a greeting card
Become a game of betting and bluffing?
I loathe to trite complications.
For whatever you were,
Whatever you are,
Whatever we are…
I know what I am not.

I skulk over to the blank card section.
I can write the truth there.
Not the whole truth.
But enough.
I choose a card with flowers.
You like flowers, don’t you?


- Theresa Milstein







Wednesday, June 4, 2014

How to Make Your First Line POP!

I've known Jessica Bell for years, and I'm lucky to have met her in person in December. She's written a fab series of books (Writing in a Nutshell) to help writers. Read about her newest writer's resource, and find out about Jessica's generous offer






How to Make Your First Line POP!
by Jessica Bell

There’s nothing more important than starting your story right. So don’t forfeit the chance to make sure the first line of your novel really cries for readers’ attention.

There are a few points you might like to consider to make your first line the best it can possibly be. I believe the ideal first line does the following:

1. Poses a question. By this, I do not mean your first sentence should literally be a question; I mean it should introduce a conflict that has the potential to spark readers’ interest.

2. Hints at genre.

3. Is not too long. Punchy works best. Think about those infamous six-word stories: For sale: baby shoes, never worn. They embody so much complexity in so few words, don’t they? Aim for something similarly concise and complex. Think of your first sentence as a complete slice of life. It should conjure vivid imagery and intrigue.

4. Is noticeably related to the plot of your story. Even if a reader doesn’t immediately recognize it as such, the connection will dawn on them further into the book.

Before I give you an example of a good first line, let me show you a weak one:

My name is Janet and I don’t want to see my therapist.

Okay, let’s break this down.

Does it pose a question? Erm … yes, but not a very intriguing one. Something needs to be added for the reader to really want to know why Janet doesn’t want to see her therapist. At the moment, I’m not really interested in why because it hasn’t introduced any conflict.

Does it hint at genre? Possibly. Sounds like Women’s Fiction or Chick Lit to me. But honestly, it could be anything. If the next sentence reveals she’s a Cyborg with an identity crisis, then I’d be pretty sure it’s Science Fiction. But why should I wait until the second line?

Is it too long? Nope. At least it’s got that going for it.

Is it heavily related to the plot? I wouldn’t know. All I know is that the narrator’s name is Janet and she is complaining. Not a very compelling character trait to start off with, in my opinion.

Now that we’ve got the weak example out of the way, let’s move on to the strong example.

The deathcare therapists say, “Die happy, live happier.”

Does this pose a question? Yes! Why do people need “deathcare therapy?” It’s obviously not about offering support for the terminally ill, because why would it reference the afterlife? And it’s obviously not something only one therapist said, because it’s written in present tense to express a general truth. So it must be some sort of slogan. Perhaps it’s something that is preached through the media? Is it spiritual in nature? Or do people really get a second chance at life after they die? So many questions. I’m intrigued!

Does it hint at genre? I’d say so. I get a sense of Speculative Fiction or Psychological Thriller. Big change from my previous genre assumption.

Is it too long? No. I think this is a great length. It’s punchy, to the point, and full of intrigue.

Is it heavily related to the plot? I’d assume so. Why offer something so rich with implication if it has nothing to do with the story? From this first line, I’m assuming that this story is about life, death, and finding happiness. And perhaps within a moderately dystopian world.

Now it’s your turn. What’s your first line? Can you make it better?

Checklist:
1. Does your first line pose a question?
2. Does it hint at genre?
3. Is it short and punchy?
4. Is it related to the plot of your story?

Want more advice on how to self-edit your manuscript? Then you might be interested in Jessica’s new release, Polish Your Fiction: A Quick & Easy Self-Editing Guide.


Bio:
Jessica Bell, a thirty-something Australian-native contemporary fiction author, poet and singer/songwriter/ guitarist, is the Publishing Editor of Vine Leaves Literary Journal and the director of the Homeric Writers’ Retreat & Workshop on the Greek island of Ithaca. She makes a living as a writer/editor for English Language Teaching Publishers worldwide, such as Pearson Education, HarperCollins, MacMillan Education, Education First and Cengage Learning.

Connect with Jessica online:


Writers, share your FIRST LINE 
in the comments section 
and Jessica will give you FEEDBACK
Leave a comment by Friday at midnight, June 6th EST.